It’s okay to be lost.

It’s okay to be lost.

Going to school has a way of putting pressure on us. And I’m not just talking about college. Whether you’re a senior in high school, under grad, grad school, or maybe taking online classes for a specific trade – there’s this notion that if you’re not doing something right away, you’ll be nothing. Who started that?

I run into a lot of twentysomethings that truly believe because they don’t have it figured out, they’re already behind. They feel that because they’ve been out of school for 5 minutes and aren’t running Google or drowning in cash from their aspiring fashion line, that they’ve failed. These same people look around and double tap pictures of their peers in their professions with covetousness because they’re not where they want to be or better yet, don’t have a clue of where they want to be at all.

But you don’t have to.

Do you feel this pressure because your high school teachers are saying if you don’t go to college you should apply early to your nearest McDonalds? Or do you feel the way you do because college professors are sure that your best shot after it’s all over is a $32,000 salary? Oh no, it’s because your West Indian parents know for a fact that if you aren’t studying to be a doctor you’re basically selling drugs. Is that it?

Regardless, while it is easier said than done, the truth is none of that should matter.

There’s no golden guide that you follow to become the person that you want to be. There’s no cheat codes to this life thing, and no matter where you look, every question of doubt won’t have answers, and if you do find some, they may not even be the ones you want. But what you do have is time. You have time to make mistakes your greatest experiences. You have time to trial and error in different fields of work. You have time to take more classes, and you have time to make opportunities and take chances.

You don’t have to wake up in the morning and know for a fact you want to be a designer because you happen to know how to draw and you went to school for it. If your heart’s not it, why do it? What you should do is work toward something. This post isn’t an ally to you sitting at home on the couch “finding yourself” in the next bag of chips. It’s a wake up call. If you don’t know what’s next, draw your map. If you’re on route but got side tracked, go down the path that you aren’t familiar with. Make yourself uncomfortable until you find a new comfort zone.

Nobody knows what they’re doing, and the first billionaire you meet that says that they did is lying. I think this is what our years are for. We’re here to make the best of the time that we have with the people that we love. Your goals whether written down to the T or just thoughts running through your mind, should be to create, to give, to build, to grow, and establish.

And while I may have started with the reference to twentysomethings, I think this is valid for those who have been at their jobs for 20 years, who are well over their college days, who are mothers and fathers, and who are grown and still don’t know what’s next or want more but don’t know what it is. You may have more responsibilities and people relying on your next decision, but ultimately, your next decisions should be for you. You might not know what’s next but it’s okay. Work hard at something until you do. Just because you’ve been doing a job for years doesn’t mean it’s the one for you.

But hey, what do I know? I’m just taking my own advice. However, I must admit, so far so good.

Key Takeaway:
You don't have to know what your exact next moves will be, but the fact that you 
realize you need them is already a step in the right direction. Work toward something. Write, design, cold call, market, or give birth to a start up. Whatever you 
do don't feel sorry for yourself. Everyone's time is different, it's what you do 
with yours that counts.
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Long Distance

Long Distance

I truly believe relationships are only as hard as you make them.

Don’t get me wrong, being with someone full-time is work. It’s sometimes putting someone else before yourself, it’s spending money on someone besides your own, it’s dedicating time… it’s sacrifice. But then again, love always is. However, I don’t believe it should hurt.

I’m currently in a long distance relationship… I’m talking across the Atlantic, different time zones long. He’s been in my life since I was 14, and eight years later I still get butterflies in my stomach when I know I’m about to see him. But it wasn’t always like that. We’ve definitely had our ups and downs, and even further downs. I can recall a span of almost two years when I didn’t even know where he was, or what he was up to, and not caring. That was mainly because we’ve always had the problem of communication.

I can imagine the guys reading this and are probably getting ready to scroll to the next page while the females are saying to themselves “yup, girl, it always is!”

But the problem was something we both knew too well. Every time one of us did something the other really didn’t like, or was hurt by, we’d shut down and block the other person out. There were situations where if he did something I didn’t like, I would try to do it back just so he could feel the way that I did in hopes of him not doing it again, only to find out that those very actions would push him away. There was a time where I saw something I didn’t like, and automatically felt a way about it. Instead of telling him, I just assumed he should know. So when he texted me casually the next day, I remember turning my read receipts on and not replying. And because he saw that I read and didn’t respond, he didn’t write back! Literally taking being “petty” to new heights.

However, I’m Petty Labelle.

Long story short we wasted so much time battling each other instead of loving each other. We wanted to teach each other lessons, turn each other into people we thought we wanted, so much so that it drove us a part. Looking back now, I believe it was probably for the best. I think we needed to grow a little more individually before becoming the people to truly make each other happy. There were times I felt farther away from him when he was standing right next to me than I do now with him overseas.

We disagree, we have our arguments, but we also have patience. And I’ve learned that whether your person is ten minutes away or 10,000 miles away, you have to have that same patience to understand where the other person is coming from through times of disagreement; you have to be patient with your own thoughts because sometimes what you see isn’t always what it seems, and when it is, trust me you’ll know. You must be patient with yourself and with your partner as you learn to love each other. Nothing is done over night, and that goes for relationships too, there’s no need to rush through the stages.

I have so many friends that are often comparing their relationship or where they are in there lives to what others are doing. I believe that’s natural simply because we live in a social era where we’re constantly surrounded by updates, photos, and ‘likes.’ However, people only post when they’re at their best and the fastest way to lose yourself is when trying to be someone else.

Love, relationships, they both require growth. My boyfriend and I both needed that to be where we are today, and I think that time was necessary because it made us strong enough to withstand being a part for such long periods now. Long distance relationships aren’t for everyone, and I honestly wouldn’t recommend it. But I know I rather FaceTime him every night knowing we’ve built something worth keeping rather than settling for the next close thing. It’s work… a lot of work, but the most beautiful things in life are.

What are you willing build?

 

When Passion Meets Action

When Passion Meets Action

Everyone has a passion for something. There are people who live, breath, and think music on all levels at all times. Some of these kinds of people are called audiophiles. “An audiophile is a person enthusiastic about high fidelity sound reproduction,” by Wikipedia definition. This kind of person is passionate about creation, innovation and the idea of bringing music to life through different outlets and by any means. Music legends that began in the era before mine found this very niche; their sound, their vibe, lingo and style carried out into the generations after mine. And this was because they believed in something bigger then themselves, so much so that the world began to believe in it too.

That’s the funny thing about dream chasing and loving something for what it is not what it can bring you. We have the power to be and do anything we set our minds to but we must first be willing to take the risk. It’s not easy following the path you love, whether your passion is writing, music, fashion, dance, painting, singing, drawing, teaching or even building things, the list is endless. However, the recognition of a talent is only the beginning. It’s the work that goes into making it more than just something you do alone that sets you a part.

To become an entrepreneur, an owner, or an innovator you must first be a dream chaser. You have to draft the most outrageous goals and believe that each day you will get closer to achieving them. This journey is far from easy. You will have financial burdens, difficult decisions to make and people around you who are afraid to believe in what you can do, these people will try to stop you and bring you down. But God always helps those who help themselves and never puts more on you than you can bear. To be great, you must believe that you are.

It is so easy to stay in bed instead of starting your days earlier. It is easy to break yourself down than it is to build yourself up. It is easy to tell yourself you can’t rather than you can, and it is easier to give up than to keep going.

Today, I challenge you take the road less traveled and do what everyone thinks you can’t. I challenge you to say yes to the opportunity you are afraid to take because you are unsure of where it might lead. Today, I challenge you to step out on faith and do exactly what you want to do not what’s expected of you. Money will come, people will go and change will arise, but the only thing standing in the space of the difference in your life is you.

Are you ready to step out of your way?

Dangerously in Love…

Dangerously in Love…

Have you ever been so deep in love with someone that the feeling scared you?

A1

I’ve always questioned the authenticity of love in it of itself. It’s such a complex emotion, that it makes you do things, and say things, and feel so crazy. I think it makes people the craziest, me particularly, because it is the only emotion that I literally cannot control.

I have no say in who it is that I will love, how long I will love that person, and the hardest sometimes has been to pinpoint the very reason(s) why I love that person at all. Love makes me second guess myself, the things that I was once so sure about, the way in which I go about my day or even what it is that I want to say. Love makes me rewrite text messages to not only get whatever it is that I need to say out, but in the way most appealing to the person receiving it. Love makes me cuddle with my phone on the nights I can’t cuddle up with him. Love just… makes me.

It scares me more so than anything just because I’m willing to do and be anything for that person. I’m okay with putting myself aside, if it means that person will be just a little bit happier. But the best part for me is when they don’t even want me to.

I can hardly fully express the way love makes me operate. I guess that’s one of the hidden beauties of love, the simple fact that you just don’t know, but instead you simply…feel. Maybe the term scared is a bit much. Love isn’t so much scary, but instead so bold that depending on the situation it can be intimidating.

If there is anyone out there with a feeling at all similar to mine, I encourage you to take the challenge and love completely. There’s no sense of being afraid of the unknown or intimidating. We were built to last. The worst that can happen is what you thought was love simply wasn’t. But there’s another crazy thing about it… when it’s real, you just know.

-Kiana S.

 

One Man’s Trash…

One Man’s Trash…

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Ever had something be so wonderful, it felt almost to good to be true?

Have you ever been hurt so many times that even with the best thing in life staring you in the eye, you still can’t believe?

I think it’s natural to be afraid of trying something new when you’ve continuously put yourself on the line, only to be left there yet again. But living in fear of the unknown is worst than any kind heartbreak.

I’ve been in a trying relationship, given all that have and tried everything to prove something to someone that didn’t even deserve my hello. I loved someone with all my young heart and watched him choose someone else. Because a pain like that was so foreign to me, it hurt. The thoughts still hurt.

But time passed, and although the cliché can be tiresome, time began to mend my wounds. And with time came someone else. Someone else who wants and loves me not only for who I am but also for what I stand for. Someone who believes in the beauty of my dreams and has so much faith in them, he’d bet it all on me. And while doing this, he himself is driven. I see nothing but success in his future because its raw passion and drive that pushes him… and he just wants to share it with me.

I’m hesitant. It’s also natural that I should be, but if its worth it patience it necessary. Love isn’t nearly as hard as people make it out to be. It’s work to create, keep and spread love but it’s far from impossible. I believe situations like these are just the best way to show you who’s worth it and who isn’t.

Men and women both have intentions when getting into any relationship, and most of the time they let those intentions be known, it might not be verbally, but we all know how actions go. Getting hurt is a part of the cycle, we just have to be prepared and ready to learn from it and let go.

One mans trash is truly another mans treasure; it’s just up to us to know where we stand.

 

Lovely.

 

The thing about love…

The thing about love…

love I feel a little like Carrie from Sex and the City!

Well hello world…

My best friend is currently in a long distance relationship, like really long, I’m talking Minnesota long. Or is it Michigan? I always forget, nevertheless they aren’t walking distance from each other lol. Well anyway, when she first brought the idea to me, the idea of managing a relationship strictly via phone calls and Skype, I thought she was mad. A crazy person. Absolutely out of her mind. In my mind, they’re relationship would be artificial, I didn’t think they would have a successful couple of days let alone anything more than that. But as quickly as they came are as quickly as they left, as I watched those days turn to weeks, and those weeks to months, into what now is almost a year. Way to prove me wrong. A love as genuine and veritable as theirs, you only see in movies. Even I, a witness to the madness can’t believe its actuality. And when they finally had the opportunity to see each other for the second time, over this winter vacation, it was as if nothing else mattered. To have gotten the chance to not only spend two weeks together, but open the new year physically hand in hand, is a blessing individually designed. It’s almost as if, all those days, weeks and months apart meant nothing, because together, if only for a small time, the worst was over.

See, I guess the thing about love is its stronger than we use it for. Love and life, they’re a balance necessary for the survival of the heart, and the sooner we realize it, the sooner maybe each of us can have just a bit of what my best friend has. In order to achieve and maintain happiness, not the rapper lifestyle happy, but genuine happiness, you have to live, love, let go, and let God. Not everything and everyone that comes into your life will be worth keeping. Sometimes people come in your life to teach you to let go, and sometimes the people and things that are meant to be there come in unexpected ways. The key is to keep your heart open. The fairytale happily ever after isn’t necessarily impossible, one just has to be willing to create it.

We only have this one life, we might as well love and live it. Find someone that makes you ridiculously happy, take silly pictures, go on adventures and love with every bit of your heart. If you don’t, what’s the point?

LoveLy …