Work and Life – That is the balance

Work and Life – That is the balance

gettyimages-170068121-1024x1016In the creative field, I’m constantly reading articles, interviews, and posts about how to maintain a work/life balance or how to grasp the daunting reality that there isn’t one and everyone just needs to deal with it. Some pretty intense thoughts to say the least, however, I’ve found equilibrium.

My life motivates my work. I recently went through a pretty confusing break up with my 10-year long boyfriend, I’ll spare the gruesome details but my reality was sleepless nights and tear stained pillows for weeks. Unfortunately everything seemed to fall out of place during the holidays so I found myself entering the New Year broken-hearted, hurt, and oddly distracted.

At first, I was so consumed in my feelings of loss and sadness that there were days that I stayed in bed. But it was in lying there sulking that I realized the story behind my pain and began to write. By putting a name to these feelings, a timeline, characters, and just the realness of my situation into words I found comfort. I went back to work after the holiday break with a fire from the story that I had written and shared with friends. I decided to throw myself into work whole heartedly despite what was going on around me.

Often times, I feel like women have two ways of dealing with emotional distress or just relationship issues. Either we’re so sad it’s all we think about in this seemingly depressed state for a while or we try to completely distract our hearts by busying ourselves with anything else. For me finding this balance was almost balancing both of those. Putting this focus on work and writing wasn’t to distract my pain but instead use it my benefit.

I got to work about 2 hours early daily and really went into grind mode, translating my feelings into focus on all things for my team brand. How can we scale? What can I be doing better to get us to where we need to go? What will the rest of this year look like? This is my balance. Not only feeling but truly being productive despite the flaws in my life made up for the loss I was experiencing. While I know my work won’t comfort me at night, during the day, however, I find peace in productivity.

I can’t say that this particular way of thinking can be an end all be all for all, but it can be a shift of mindset for those who may be experiencing similar situations. Life will always be a factor, it will throw curveballs at us when we least expect it that sometimes may boost our confidence or maybe hurt it. But if we have work that  we really care about and work we enjoy, that work can and should motivate us and work for us with life’s battles. Way easier said than done for sure, but what do we have to lose?

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Long Distance

Long Distance

I truly believe relationships are only as hard as you make them.

Don’t get me wrong, being with someone full-time is work. It’s sometimes putting someone else before yourself, it’s spending money on someone besides your own, it’s dedicating time… it’s sacrifice. But then again, love always is. However, I don’t believe it should hurt.

I’m currently in a long distance relationship… I’m talking across the Atlantic, different time zones long. He’s been in my life since I was 14, and eight years later I still get butterflies in my stomach when I know I’m about to see him. But it wasn’t always like that. We’ve definitely had our ups and downs, and even further downs. I can recall a span of almost two years when I didn’t even know where he was, or what he was up to, and not caring. That was mainly because we’ve always had the problem of communication.

I can imagine the guys reading this and are probably getting ready to scroll to the next page while the females are saying to themselves “yup, girl, it always is!”

But the problem was something we both knew too well. Every time one of us did something the other really didn’t like, or was hurt by, we’d shut down and block the other person out. There were situations where if he did something I didn’t like, I would try to do it back just so he could feel the way that I did in hopes of him not doing it again, only to find out that those very actions would push him away. There was a time where I saw something I didn’t like, and automatically felt a way about it. Instead of telling him, I just assumed he should know. So when he texted me casually the next day, I remember turning my read receipts on and not replying. And because he saw that I read and didn’t respond, he didn’t write back! Literally taking being “petty” to new heights.

However, I’m Petty Labelle.

Long story short we wasted so much time battling each other instead of loving each other. We wanted to teach each other lessons, turn each other into people we thought we wanted, so much so that it drove us a part. Looking back now, I believe it was probably for the best. I think we needed to grow a little more individually before becoming the people to truly make each other happy. There were times I felt farther away from him when he was standing right next to me than I do now with him overseas.

We disagree, we have our arguments, but we also have patience. And I’ve learned that whether your person is ten minutes away or 10,000 miles away, you have to have that same patience to understand where the other person is coming from through times of disagreement; you have to be patient with your own thoughts because sometimes what you see isn’t always what it seems, and when it is, trust me you’ll know. You must be patient with yourself and with your partner as you learn to love each other. Nothing is done over night, and that goes for relationships too, there’s no need to rush through the stages.

I have so many friends that are often comparing their relationship or where they are in there lives to what others are doing. I believe that’s natural simply because we live in a social era where we’re constantly surrounded by updates, photos, and ‘likes.’ However, people only post when they’re at their best and the fastest way to lose yourself is when trying to be someone else.

Love, relationships, they both require growth. My boyfriend and I both needed that to be where we are today, and I think that time was necessary because it made us strong enough to withstand being a part for such long periods now. Long distance relationships aren’t for everyone, and I honestly wouldn’t recommend it. But I know I rather FaceTime him every night knowing we’ve built something worth keeping rather than settling for the next close thing. It’s work… a lot of work, but the most beautiful things in life are.

What are you willing build?

 

When Passion Meets Action

When Passion Meets Action

Everyone has a passion for something. There are people who live, breath, and think music on all levels at all times. Some of these kinds of people are called audiophiles. “An audiophile is a person enthusiastic about high fidelity sound reproduction,” by Wikipedia definition. This kind of person is passionate about creation, innovation and the idea of bringing music to life through different outlets and by any means. Music legends that began in the era before mine found this very niche; their sound, their vibe, lingo and style carried out into the generations after mine. And this was because they believed in something bigger then themselves, so much so that the world began to believe in it too.

That’s the funny thing about dream chasing and loving something for what it is not what it can bring you. We have the power to be and do anything we set our minds to but we must first be willing to take the risk. It’s not easy following the path you love, whether your passion is writing, music, fashion, dance, painting, singing, drawing, teaching or even building things, the list is endless. However, the recognition of a talent is only the beginning. It’s the work that goes into making it more than just something you do alone that sets you a part.

To become an entrepreneur, an owner, or an innovator you must first be a dream chaser. You have to draft the most outrageous goals and believe that each day you will get closer to achieving them. This journey is far from easy. You will have financial burdens, difficult decisions to make and people around you who are afraid to believe in what you can do, these people will try to stop you and bring you down. But God always helps those who help themselves and never puts more on you than you can bear. To be great, you must believe that you are.

It is so easy to stay in bed instead of starting your days earlier. It is easy to break yourself down than it is to build yourself up. It is easy to tell yourself you can’t rather than you can, and it is easier to give up than to keep going.

Today, I challenge you take the road less traveled and do what everyone thinks you can’t. I challenge you to say yes to the opportunity you are afraid to take because you are unsure of where it might lead. Today, I challenge you to step out on faith and do exactly what you want to do not what’s expected of you. Money will come, people will go and change will arise, but the only thing standing in the space of the difference in your life is you.

Are you ready to step out of your way?

Dangerously in Love…

Dangerously in Love…

Have you ever been so deep in love with someone that the feeling scared you?

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I’ve always questioned the authenticity of love in it of itself. It’s such a complex emotion, that it makes you do things, and say things, and feel so crazy. I think it makes people the craziest, me particularly, because it is the only emotion that I literally cannot control.

I have no say in who it is that I will love, how long I will love that person, and the hardest sometimes has been to pinpoint the very reason(s) why I love that person at all. Love makes me second guess myself, the things that I was once so sure about, the way in which I go about my day or even what it is that I want to say. Love makes me rewrite text messages to not only get whatever it is that I need to say out, but in the way most appealing to the person receiving it. Love makes me cuddle with my phone on the nights I can’t cuddle up with him. Love just… makes me.

It scares me more so than anything just because I’m willing to do and be anything for that person. I’m okay with putting myself aside, if it means that person will be just a little bit happier. But the best part for me is when they don’t even want me to.

I can hardly fully express the way love makes me operate. I guess that’s one of the hidden beauties of love, the simple fact that you just don’t know, but instead you simply…feel. Maybe the term scared is a bit much. Love isn’t so much scary, but instead so bold that depending on the situation it can be intimidating.

If there is anyone out there with a feeling at all similar to mine, I encourage you to take the challenge and love completely. There’s no sense of being afraid of the unknown or intimidating. We were built to last. The worst that can happen is what you thought was love simply wasn’t. But there’s another crazy thing about it… when it’s real, you just know.

-Kiana S.

 

One Man’s Trash…

One Man’s Trash…

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Ever had something be so wonderful, it felt almost to good to be true?

Have you ever been hurt so many times that even with the best thing in life staring you in the eye, you still can’t believe?

I think it’s natural to be afraid of trying something new when you’ve continuously put yourself on the line, only to be left there yet again. But living in fear of the unknown is worst than any kind heartbreak.

I’ve been in a trying relationship, given all that have and tried everything to prove something to someone that didn’t even deserve my hello. I loved someone with all my young heart and watched him choose someone else. Because a pain like that was so foreign to me, it hurt. The thoughts still hurt.

But time passed, and although the cliché can be tiresome, time began to mend my wounds. And with time came someone else. Someone else who wants and loves me not only for who I am but also for what I stand for. Someone who believes in the beauty of my dreams and has so much faith in them, he’d bet it all on me. And while doing this, he himself is driven. I see nothing but success in his future because its raw passion and drive that pushes him… and he just wants to share it with me.

I’m hesitant. It’s also natural that I should be, but if its worth it patience it necessary. Love isn’t nearly as hard as people make it out to be. It’s work to create, keep and spread love but it’s far from impossible. I believe situations like these are just the best way to show you who’s worth it and who isn’t.

Men and women both have intentions when getting into any relationship, and most of the time they let those intentions be known, it might not be verbally, but we all know how actions go. Getting hurt is a part of the cycle, we just have to be prepared and ready to learn from it and let go.

One mans trash is truly another mans treasure; it’s just up to us to know where we stand.

 

Lovely.

 

A Kiss of Sun …

A Kiss of Sun …

There is always hope-251688

There’s something about the wind hitting the branches on the trees making them sway to the melody of its music that prompts my fingers to move. Or maybe it’s the look of the snow rushing to meet the ground, the passing cars, or pretty much anything solid; wherever they where before, the snowflakes clearly don’t want to be anymore, so they move with speed from the sky, to meet us. But their stay here, might seem like forever, but is only temporary. Because shortly, the sun will shine again, ending their visit, almost forcing them to leave, disappear really – they won’t stand a chance.

This weather reminds me of the relationship between situation and people. Daily we go through different trials and tribulations, or problems that might seem like the end of the world – or our world. I know personally there have been days where I force the biggest smiles, just to hide the feeling of unhappiness and save myself from the concerns and questioning. There were times that on the brightest of days, I’ve felt like I was in the middle of this storm by myself, swaying like those trees, rushed by the problems and negative thoughts…

But then the sun came out, and just like the snow, it melted all the problems away, and I was able to breath again. I think we take our “problems” to seriously, or at least I can say I honestly do. Whether it be situations with, work, school, loved ones or relationships – we can never let a situation become to great. Every storm will come to an end, at the end of every dark tunnel is always a light. A couple cliches are always the best way to rap up lol. I guess the moral is, storms like this one will come in our lives. Like the snow, they’ll seem to come right at you and attempt to stick, but with the kiss of the sun to the snow, or with prayer, your problems will sure to disappear.

 

As always.. Lovely.